"there is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to life and the lives of people you love. when you tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." -Sophia Loren
Is there an age in your head that makes you think “when I hit this age I am OLD. Like real oooold!”
A friend of mine about a month ago asked me why I was so scared of turning 30 and because the question kind of felt like out of nowhere I didn’t feel prepared to answer it. He proceeded to ask, “because the fading of beauty?” and yea, the question really got to me. no one had really asked me why I was so scared. I just have always been scared. Were my fears even legitimate? I went into some serious reflection mode (thanks a lot William. Lol) But in all honesty, it was the best rude awakening.
Since I can remember I feared the age of thirty. Like to me 30 is old. What am I even doing with my life old. Lol. I know this all sounds crazy + kind of funny, but because I am a stay-at-home mom of 4 with no college education or “real” job. I have come to believe that all of my dreams are pointless once I turn 30. I will only be viewed as a “mom” and I will have nothing else to offer in the career world.
Being 29 has been ONE of the best/hardest years of my life. And I wouldn’t change it for the world. The people God has placed in my life in the last year have been some of the most encouraging + supportive groups in a LONG time. They have continued to challenge + push me towards my goals + dreams in ways I never thought were attainable.
I don’t see age when I meet + hang out with people. We are all walking this crazy road we call life together. We all have something to offer each other. In some weird way, I always think that if I share my age or that I'm a mom that people are going to turn their back on me like "yikes, she is trying too hard to be something!" But this year has proven to me that 1) I can do whatever the HELL I want to do if I set my mind on it. 2) No one cares how old I am or how many kids I have. In fact, they are surprised + impressed. I am not trying to pat my back, but what I'm trying to say is that so many times we are holding ourself back by believing fears that are not true.
For years I believed I could never model...
1) I didn't think I had the look for it.
2) I am a mom, therefore I have a "mom body"
3) I'm freaking 5'3'' WAY TOO SHORT for the modeling world
4) How would I find time in my busy mom schedule to do something like that
5) Never thought I would be comfortable with someone other than myself taking my pictures. lol
Well all of these lies have been crushed since...
Now I'm not trying to do runway stuff as fun as that would be, but all the fun + incredible modeling opportunities that have come my way this year has blown my little mind away. And I know this is only the beginning because once you don't believe a lie anymore you realize you can do about anything you set your mind to. And thats where I am at. THIRTY + THRIVING FRIENDS!
God is SO freaking good. And HIS timing seems questionable but man, HIS plans are far better than I would have thought for when I was thirty!